In the past few years, I have encountered many difficulties–one of them being the struggle with God’s Will. I want to do His Will…but sometimes I fail, sometimes I forget, and sometimes that I doubt my ability to tell what His Will is. When I am thinking about it, I know that I can trust Him to bring about greater good even if I don’t understand the first time, as well as recognizing that the way to become more certain is by spending more time in prayer. But prayer takes time, and it is a struggle to trust that He will give me enough time to fulfill my duties (aka homework in most cases). Prayer requires dying to myself, and yet if I pray more I will be happier. I have come to realize my weaknesses and pride to a greater extent in the past year; every time I fail, I recognize how far I am from perfection–but know that I have no power to achieve sanctity by myself.
Today after going to confession, I was reading my Bible. After reading some Psalms, I turned to my favorite chapter to meditate on: Philippians 4. It reads, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let all men know your forbearance. The Lord is at hand. Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, do; and the God of peace will be with you.” (Vs. 4-9)
Yes, I must rejoice in the Lord; even when things don’t go my way. I must think about whatever is good, and rejoice in the reflection of God that we receive through all things. If only I will trust in the Lord and continue trying again and again–not losing hope, even when I fail–I will be at peace and will be more effective in participating in the Divine plan of salvation. And what a joy that will be.