My greatest passion is to do the will of God and become a saint; it has been the driving force in my life for many years. It is a passion innate in my nature and is stronger than all else, for which am very thankful. Perfection will come with many sacrifices. Yet when you have an overwhelming desire for unity with Christ, the pain of the sacrifices seems to diminish.
Learning to love the will of God and become even more passionate for Him has been a challenge. It is necessary to transparently view everything as coming from the Father out of love, trusting that it is for my greatest good – even when I do not understand. It is necessary to allow my love for our Creator to be just as creative as a love for another person. It is necessary to apply my entire heart, mind, and soul to loving so that I do not hesitate at the cross that is necessary for the resurrection.
Each decision of each day defines both how you live and strengthens the will for future decisions. In my life, modesty is one such decision. When I was about 10 years old, my parents decided that all the girls in my family were going to wear skirts. I was very upset and did not want to accept their decision. Friends began to question why I wore skirts all the time, and it was uncomfortable for me to say that I was forced to – so I began to find reasons for myself. I learned that modesty is not only about clothing, but rather, a disposition. I came to understand that even if I disagreed with my parents original decision, they had the authority to expect a modest disposition from me. As the years have gone by, my sense of modesty has deepened; and my expression of that modesty has adapted. In retrospect, I realize that God used that circumstance to get my attention and reveal His will to me in a larger way. I hold higher standards for myself than others, but it remains a constant struggle to avoid becoming desensitized and living lower standards than I believe God expects of me.
Sometimes things happen that I have no control over, and then the challenge lays in believing that nothing can happen without God’s permission – and all will turn out for a greater good. Family hardships, illness, uncertainty, and loneliness have all been a part of my life; and yet I am learning to love them because they are all part His unique plan for me.
Although there are many sacrifices in discerning the will of God, there is so much beauty to be enjoyed. Whether it is the stars in the sky, the greenness of the trees, the shimmering sun on the river, the glory of the sunrise, or the shadows of the sunset, God smiles through nature. The brush of the wind is like a hug that wraps around me…the warm sunbeam, a kiss upon my cheek. The laughter and cry of a little child is the music of love. The simple, daily happenings of life bring so much more joy when viewed as the gift from God that they are.
Understanding God’s will for my life transforms life itself; there is a happiness in knowing that everything is in the hand of God. Nothing is certain in the future; but as long as I give my all, I can count on the overflowing blessings in the midst of the interminglement of sorrow and perfect joy.