Prompted by Prof. Barber, here is an update to my blog. 🙂
I think that more than anytime before, this quarter has been a test of trust in getting everything done. Besides the fact that there is a lot to do in general, I want to understand everything to the best of my ability AND get ahead before going home for my sister’s wedding next weekend. It has taken a lot of discipline to resist doing homework on Sundays–except reading the Bible. However, I think that those days off have been good for me; they provide much needed rest both physically and mentally.
It is amazing to think how much my mind has been formed in the past year. At times I am tempted to panic at how much more information I have to soak up in order to graduate; at times I feel lost and don’t know how I will survive without a passion for some of the topics that I have to study; at times I just don’t know if this is where I should be. But then I have a day where I have the opportunity to go to Holy Mass, adoration, confession, spend time with other Catholic youth, and read the Bible for homework–and wonder how I could be elsewhere.
Perhaps it is, in a way, similar to when the Israelites traveled in the desert after being delivered from Egypt. It is a constant path of detachment and challenges to be drawn closer to He who made heaven and earth. All the things I thought I could never leave, I needed to leave. The beauty of Wisconsin, my love of seasons, my family, my friends, my relative freedom of time, my indecision…the business world may not be the destination I am headed to, but it is a journey which when I get to the other side I will be closer to the person God wishes me to be. Many times I doubt that I am called to go on and create my own business, but somehow God wishes to form me here at JP Catholic.
The Old Testament is fascinating. We have been reading a good portion of it in our Scripture class, and I am reminded how much of a pity it is that it is not known or appreciated, especially among Catholics. One of the greatest things I have gained so far is a bit of an answer to a question that has bothered me for years. I knew that it was a truth of our Faith that Christ had to die for our sins to fulfill the requirements of justice, but I could not comprehend why…obviously, I still can not comprehend its fullness. Yet in studying from the view of the Covenant I have come to a greater understanding and now am struck with an even greater awe of God’s love of all of us. The parallels and foreshadowing in the Old Covenant of what was to come in the New Covenant are so obvious and mysterious at the same time. It is interesting to see that humanity has had the same struggles over all time: fear of death has motivated so many decisions, and yet we are a lazy and complaining people who will always try to transfer the blame of our actions and their consequences.
So much for my rambling…back to homework. May God bless and Mary keep you all!